It was a moment of truth. Starting with a lot of fear, but quickly followed by a moment of lightness. A moment of freedom.
I could feel the stress radiating off of me. My body was so tense that I was gripping my coffee cup in the Santa Barbara café to the point my hand started to hurt a little. I was sitting across someone I care about very much. He handed me a pen and piece of paper, and asked me to go down the rabbit hole of all the potential consequences of deciding to keep fighting or to let go of my license. “Write down all your worst fears for both possibilities. Draw it out. Create a flowchart with branches of possible ripple effects until you can’t go any further.”
So I did.
He asked me to tap into my body, my intuition, my highest self. “Notice how you feel as you imagined one scenario playing out. What about if the other happened? Now, how do you feel? Is there tightness in your chest? Or a sense of lightness in your soul? Something else?”
Total disclosure: This feelings-stuff seemed a tad woo-woo for a logic-based person like myself. But ultimately I believe that’s what made it even more incredibly powerful…because I felt it in my body. I knew.
As I stepped out of my head and toward my heart, I received the answer... It was right here the whole time!
As I turned down the volume of my brain and went inward, I experienced a newfound sense of peace and lightness at the thought of letting go. It felt more right than anything….
All along I thought freedom only came from winning this fight. I knew I was in the right. I knew I *should* win. I knew in my heart of hearts that I wasn’t doing anything wrong. And I had two really good attorneys on the case, so I knew I *could* win. But there had been a cost. I was literally in a battle for over 5 years. That’s half a decade’s worth of tension layering and building within my body. I think I had forgotten what it was like to live without that defense system on high alert all the time. That is, until I was in that coffee shop.
When I thought about letting go of my license (for more about why, when and how I surrendered my dietitian license, read here), I suddenly felt a sense of lightness. A strong sense of peace. Like I could exhale, and smile and laugh... and maybe even fly! I felt alive and free in a way I hadn’t for so long…
That was it!!!
Freedom didn’t need to come from winning this fight and keeping my license. In fact, that version of a “victory” would mean I’d still be under the thumb of the “man/big brother” (the board in this case), which is the opposite of freedom!
Freedom is a state of mind, a choice, and in this case—and perhaps many—an act of surrender.
Instead of chasing freedom, instead of fighting for it, I could choose to have it right now by letting go of the very thing I was clinging so tight to. That’s the victory I really wanted.
The moment I recognized that this is available to me without having to “do” anything else, is the moment that everything shifted.
Freedom is letting go of what feels heavy and embracing everything that feels light and makes you feel alive.
Freedom is sharing my truth instead of repressing it with both fists up, fighting. Why fight and fight and fight, when we can have it right now?
Surrendering isn’t easy. Maybe because in many ways it feels like giving up. Maybe it is. But maybe that isn’t a negative thing if it’s giving up the things (or people) that are no longer serving us. If, in return, it gives us what we’ve been after all along…
We are not our past. We are our present and our future and we get to decide what that looks like. In order to make it different and better and everything we dreamed of, we must let go and embrace something new, or we’ll keep getting what we’ve always gotten.
This is the truth that I had to discover. I am not my credentials (or lackthereof), and neither are you. We are not our pasts. We are not our accomplishments. We are not boxed in, no matter who tries to put us into a box. We are actually creating our future selves in every single moment. Every small moment we are redefining.
So often we define our identity by our past, and our mind creates stories about who we are and who we will be based on our past. I’ve seen coaching clients sabotage their amazing potential and exciting opportunities by allowing their past to define them. Their belief of “who they are” is like bubble-wrap – thinking that it’s protecting them, but it’s really keeping them from breaking out towards a breakthrough.
Often times, we hold onto things simply because they are familiar. And all of a sudden, these familiar things (and people) transform into limitations. Limiting beliefs. “Oh, I can’t do that because I’ve never done it before.” “I can’t make that decision because it would change everything.”We just stay where we know because it’s familiar, even if it doesn’t feel right.
What if you didn’t do that anymore? What if you let that all go to be in line with who you really are and who you want to become?
It can be terrifying to move beyond the story your mind has created for you. And there is so much freedom and power on the other side, and I so badly want for you to experience that.
Like weight loss for example...
To lose weight, you must do some things different. Change is necessary. When you let go of your old ways – even though they are familiar and perhaps comfortable– you then become open to your fullest potential and greatest opportunities.
We all want is freedom. Freedom from excess weight. Freedom from anxiety. Freedom from the sugar dragon. Freedom from judgment. Freedom from expectations. Freedom from being stuck. Freedom from doing things we don't want to do.
Freedom isn’t a destination, but a process. Our coaching clients tell us they feel free in the process BEFORE they reach the destination. BEFORE they lose every last pound and have everything they thought would make them free.
What if you gave it a shot and shed the things, the mindsets, the beliefs, the licenses and titles that have been holding you back, keeping you small? What if you were brave enough to step into the highest version of yourself?
What could that look like?
Who would you be?
Maybe you’d be who you are now. Maybe you’d be someone you’re even MORE excited about. Maybe it gets you excited, or anxious, or questioning everything. I get it. I did that, too. 🙂
And now, I am redefining me, as I stay true to what I believe and what I stand for, and as I’m able to put my focus and energy into all of the things that serve me, and not the things that don’t.
My journey had to do with my license, and maybe yours is your weight, or your self-image, but ultimately it’s the same core issue: our identity.
What limiting beliefs have you been living under? Which ones are you ready to shed, to be more of your true self? What if you just let go...exhaled...released the things that were no longer serving you?
If this is inspiring to you. If you’re ready to let go of that 15 or 5 pounds, if you’re ready to surrender your past dieting mindset and open yourself up to a new way of thinking about weight loss, if you’re ready to turn down the volume of the voices that tell you you should be able to figure this out on your own, and transcend above those to a new level…
Then I invite you to join me in my crazy successful, step-by-step, 12-month online group coaching program called Rule Breakers. We break all of the dieting rules while discovering who we really are, and tapping into our hearts!
I’ve created this sacred space and curated this journey for you so that you can experience true transformation and shed pounds that come off and STAY off, where it feels free and light and easy and accepting and you can tap into the real YOU.